


Be With Me

by lovelyjades



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ben Solo Lives, Bendemption, F/M, Jedi Ben Solo, Jedi Rey (Star Wars), POV Rey (Star Wars), Post-Canon, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Reylo - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-30
Updated: 2019-12-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:14:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22029139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovelyjades/pseuds/lovelyjades
Summary: After the fall of the Emperor, Ben gives his life force to Rey, but before he can die, his mother gifts him with hers as her final parting gift. They are the last of the legacies that have reigned for generations, and are left with the monumental task of deciding how to go on from there. This is not going to go the way you think.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 5
Kudos: 22





	1. Reunion

**Author's Note:**

> Hello readers! My name is Renee and I am so very excited to begin this journey with all of you. I'm planning for this to be a pretty lengthy fic, so expect slow burn and lots of drama. Thank you so much for reading!

Rey had once been told something by a small, wrinkled old woman on Jakku that had stuck with her since the moment she heard it. 

"This life is not easy, girl. You will only survive if you have something to fight for."

The woman had been missing several teeth, so it was possible she had misheard her, but Rey was about ninety percent sure that was what she had said.

For the longest time, on that dry and hellish planet she had been stuck on, Rey had only fought for herself. Day after day, she had relentlessly ventured out into the vast desert, scavenging every structure she could find until it was barren in order to keep herself alive. For over a decade, that was all she knew, that unchanging, awful routine she had come to accept. Rey was one of the longest-staying residents of the miserable planet, as most of the others had either been killed by the heat or the lack of resources or had just simply left as soon as they possibly could, sparing themselves. But inside of Rey was a determined, solid drive to keep herself alive so that when her parents would return, she would be there for them. For all of those years, she had been utterly alone.

Until she wasn't.

Rey leapt down from her battered X-Wing, her tired joints aching in protest as her feet roughly connected with the ground, but the pain was the last thing on her mind at that moment. She flung the helmet off of her head, her eyes bright as she watched Ben's TIE Fighter land on the damp ground a few yards away from her. All of the sudden, a wave of nervousness washed over her. She wrung her fingers in front of her, unsure of how the dynamic had changed between them, and swallowed hard as he stepped gracefully out of his sleek ship. 

Her stomach fluttered at the sight of him unburdened by the darkness and the influence of Snoke, and she mentally kicked herself for acting like a bashful, immature child. His shoulders weren't so tense, his face was less tight, and he looked years younger in a way. Before she could think, she was jogging toward him, a juvenile spring in her step that caused her gait to resemble a skip, her lips curling up without her consent.

When his dark eyes met her hazel ones, Rey's heart did a flip. But after he looked over her for a moment, his lips pressed together grimly and his expressive eyes drifted down to his feet. 

"Hi," Rey said, her voice hoarse and apprehensive.

His eyes flickered up to hers for only a second before he was looking away again. "Hello."

She cleared her throat awkwardly. Of all the ways she had imagined this would go, this situation was definitely not one of them. "How are you?"

Immediately after she had said it Rey wanted to bang her head against a wall. _How are you?! Seriously?!_ This was the man who had just died for her, kissed her passionately, died, and then came back to life. Not to mention their literal souls were entwined and they shared a mental link that allowed them to see inside of each other's heads. All of that, and all she could manage was _'how are you?'_!

"Um," Ben blinked. "I'm-- alright, now, I suppose. Uh, how-- how are you?"

"Great," Rey said, too quickly. What was her problem?!

Ben stared intently at her, his brow creasing and his eyes squinting as if he was trying to figure her out. Then, his face morphed into something of sadness and remorse, and his eyes once again drifted away from her face. "This won't work."

Now it was Rey's turn to blink at him. "What?"

He looked at her, drawing in a long inhale. "Whatever you think is going to happen between us, whatever you think you feel... It won't work. It-- can't."

"What?" Is all that she could manage to say again.

"Rey," He started, his mouth twisting bitterly. "I don't-- I don't deserve you. Not after everything I've done."

Rey stared at him incredulously. They were finally here, unburdened, after everything they had been through and everything they had overcame together, and he just wanted to leave her behind? "Ben, everything you did, the path you went down, was only because Palpatine had been inside of your head, lying and manipulating you!"

"But it was still me," Ben stated grimly. "All those people were slaughtered by my hand. I led the First Order, which destroyed entire planets with thousands of people on them. My sins are too great to be overlooked, Rey. Nobody will ever forgive me, and they shouldn't. You know that."

She felt the sudden urge to rip out her hair. "Stop trying to tell me what I know, Ben! Because that isn't it. What I do know is that the man you are right now is nothing like Kylo Ren, and that you were strong enough to break free of who you used to be. You were strong enough to break out of the control of two very powerful Sith lords who had been after you for your entire life. And you were strong enough to save my life, to give me yours."

Rey took his hands firmly in hers and stepped closer, her eyes wide with hope. "You gave me your life, Ben. You say nobody will ever forgive you, but... I do. I forgive you, because I know your heart. I know you have always had voices in your head you couldn't control that manipulated you into doing what they wanted, and I know you fought back against them for a long time before they finally took you over. I know you would do anything for me, and I would for you. We're connected, Ben, we're meant to be together. You know that, you always have, and a part of me always knew, too. Please, just... stay. I-I want you to."

The look in his eyes was so intense it made Rey's heart race, a heady mixture of sadness, awe, and adoration clouded the deep brown shade of them as he stared down at her. He exhaled shakily, his grip tightening around her hands. "You astonish me, Rey. Everything about you."

"But I would ruin you," Ben said, his expressive eyes changing once again. "You don't deserve to have to put up with someone with as much baggage as me, someone as broken as me. You deserve much better than that. I will be alright, and so will you. Thank you, Rey, for saving me. It's a debt I can never repay."

And then he leaned down and tenderly kissed her forehead, his fingers brushing her hair back and making her shiver. But the moment was over too soon, he pulled away and turned his back to her, walking purposefully back to his TIE fighter, not once looking back, leaving Rey standing alone in the humid desert, tears streaming down her cheeks.

-

When Rey arrived back at the Resistance base, her eyes were red and puffy and she was utterly exhausted. Her body ached and her eyelids felt heavy, and all she wanted to do was curl up in bed and sleep for a week straight. But instead, she had to fake pleasantries with her people and plaster a smile on her face. 

The moment she was out of her X-Wing, the crowd of celebrating people swarmed her, patting her on the back and clasping her hands. She searched for Finn, desperately seeking the comfort of her best friend, as she felt like she was going to break at any moment. 

When she finally found him and Poe, they ran to her the second they saw her, the three of them coming together in a tight, emotional embrace. Rey pressed her face into Finn's neck, a sob escaping her lips as she clung to her two closest friends. Around Finn's back, she felt Poe grip her hand, and she gratefully held onto it. Despite their differences, Poe had always had a solid, grounding presence that brought Rey consolation. 

When they finally broke apart, she looked to Finn and found him also staring at her, his eyes clouded with tears. "Rey... You were dead. I felt it."

Her lower lip trembled and she nodded, her cheeks wet. Poe looked from Finn to Rey, and then sighed. "I'll let you two talk."

"Poe," Rey said before he could walk away. He looked at her. "Thank you."

He nodded once, but it wasn't with any animosity, only understanding, before leaving the two of them alone. 

Rey reached out and took Finn's hand, leading him away from the crowd and into the woods silently, and the pair settled on a fallen tree. She didn't even know where to start. 

"I guess I should start from the beginning, right?" She asks, her voice thick with emotion. Rey swallowed hard as Finn nodded gently. "When I first awakened the Force in me, I realized that my... _energy,_ was entwined with another's. It was like I just _knew_ him, I knew everything about him and I hadn't ever met him. I knew his voice, I had heard it in my dreams-- in my nightmares. So when I started learning things, I somehow already knew them, because he did. It's why I was able to, I don't know, pick it up so quickly, the whole Force thing. It was why I could fly so well and fight so well, because I was using what _he_ knew to do it."

Finn didn't look very surprised, he just listened intently as she spoke. Rey cleared her throat, unsure of how to explain the next part. 

"Eventually, I could... _see_ him. Even when we were systems apart, it was like he was right there with me wherever I was. I could speak to him, touch him..." Rey trailed off awkwardly, a cringe forming on her face. Finn's eyes narrowed a bit and he looked apprehensive, but he nodded for her to continue nonetheless. "I started to trust him, because he was the only one who understood me, because I felt like I'd known him my whole life. And I could feel what he felt, I felt how conflicted he was about his identity. I heard the voices that spoke to him and manipulated him in his head, and I knew he could be turned back to the light. I was so certain that if I went to him, he would turn to the light. So I left my training with Luke, and shipped myself to him on the Supremacy. It was naive, I know, but I was just so sure."

Finn did not look pleased about that. Rey's eyes drifted to her shoes and she forced herself to keep talking, even though it felt so wrong for some reason. Her connection with Ben was something she'd always kept a secret, not even confiding in Luke about it until he found out himself. "He brought me to Snoke, and Snoke ordered him to kill me to complete his training. He could have killed me, but he killed Snoke instead. I was so hopeful, I was so certain he'd turned back to the light, and we defeated Snoke's guards together. I thought he was going to join me with the Resistance, but he didn't. He asked me to rule by his side, to bring a new order to the galaxy."

Finn's brows raised, and he rested his chin on his hand. 

"I turned him down, obviously," Rey said with a cough. "And he became the Supreme Leader. I could still see him through the Force, but I mainly just pretended he wasn't there and tried to forget him. But then we found out the Emperor was back, and he came after me again, telling me we needed to work together to defeat Palpatine and that after we did, we would be Emperor and Empress. He explained that we're something called a dyad in the Force, two that are essentially one, and that if Palpatine found out about it he would use it to his advantage and kill us both. I denied him still, until I was face to face with Palpatine and he showed up... different."

This was where things were muddled in her mind, and she wasn't sure how well she'd be able to explain it, but she still tried to. "He had turned, I knew it. The voices in his head were gone and he was himself again. We faced Palpatine together, but the power I had to use took its toll. It cost me my life. He was injured, but still alive, and he-- he gave me his life. I woke up in his arms..."

Rey trailed off, biting her lip. She debated on whether or not she should tell Finn this part. Finn didn't know Ben like she did, to him he was only the monster who had ruined his life. He was the very thing Finn had dedicated his life to destroying, _and_ he had almost killed him once. Finn's hatred for Ben ran deep, and she knew if he found out what happened between them, he would lose all respect for her.

So, like a coward, she twisted the ending. "And then he died, but Leia's last act before she died was to pass her life force to him, and now... he's alive."

Finn sat quietly for a long moment, thinking deeply about everything she'd said. Rey was uneasy, completely unknowing of how he would react to all of this information, and afraid he would see through the things she'd skipped over, like how she'd kissed Ben and who her true family was. Finn was all she had, and those two facts could both easily rip him away from her, and leave her all alone once again. Rey refused to lose Finn, and if she had to lie a little to keep him, that was what she would do. Palpatine was dead and Ben had left her anyway, so Finn didn't need to know.

She was taken by surprise when the corner of his mouth rose, a glimmer of humor in his eyes. "We _are_ talking about Kylo Ren, right?"

Rey laughed through her tears, swatting his arm. "Yes, you nerfherder."

"I figured," He said, bumping her shoulder with his. Finn smiled gently, with acceptance. "I always knew you two had some weird thing going on, I just didn't really understand what it was. Thank you for trusting me, Rey."

For some reason, the last line triggered an outburst of tears. "Thank you for being my first friend, Finn. I know I can always trust you. I'll love you forever."

He wrapped his arms around her tightly, and she clung to him. "I'll love you forever, too, Rey. No matter what."

A pang of guilt washed through her as she thought of her lies. She desperately hoped what he said was true. 

-

Later that evening, when she'd finally gotten into bed, she was too exhausted to cry anymore. As she began to drift off to sleep, she swore she felt a strong arm drape over her waist, a face nuzzle into her hair, and a familiar scent fill her head. Feeling complete, Rey fell into the deepest slumber she'd had in weeks.


	2. An Awakening

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thanks so much for reading. I will update chapters as soon as I can, a minimum once a week. Happy New Year!

Spin. Duck. Strike. Block. Strike.

Rey fell into a steady rhythm, the warm morning sun shining down on her exposed skin. Her eyes were serenely closed, a helmet secure over her head as she battled the training droids. Without a master, Rey wasn't exactly sure how to progress, but combat training was never a bad thing.

She was still using Luke's saber, Ben had Leia's, and she knew that at some point she needed to create her own. Rey knew Luke didn't mind her using his at all, but for once she wanted something that was only hers, not borrowed from someone greater. The only problem was that she had no idea how to.

Pushing her frustrations from her mind, she surrendered to the feeling of the Force, letting it guide her as she blocked the shots of the training droids. Only a few moments later, she felt Finn approaching her from behind. He watched her, and Rey sensed his admiration.

_If he only knew who I really am._

Rey defeated the last little training droid before facing her friend, extinguishing her saber and gingerly removing her helmet. Her eyes squinted due to the sunlight, but she could still make out her best friend grinning at her. "It's still so crazy to me that you just let things shoot at you with your eyes closed."

Rey laughed, brushing off her clothes. "It's not like I'm _blind_. The Force allows me to see what my eyes do not."

"When did you start sounding so wise?" Finn joked, picking up one of her staffs and twirling it around. But then he stopped, resting the tip of it on the damp ground and pausing for a moment before speaking. "Rey. I need to tell you-- what I've been _trying_ to tell you is that--"

"You're Force sensitive," Rey cut in knowlingly, her brow lifted slightly. "Yes. I know."

Finn pursed his lips. "How long have you known?"

She shifted her shoulders. "I'm not really sure. I'm certainly no expert when it comes to the Force, but in a way, I could always just... tell."

"Will you teach me?" Finn blurted, his eyes wide. Rey recoiled, she knew he would ask eventually that but she had been wishing he wouldn't. She was too tempted by the dark, struggling to much to cope with who she was, and just plainly not knowledgeable enough about the Force. She was not at all equipped to instruct another person.

"Finn..." Rey started, frowning. "I'm no teacher. I'm still just learning, I've barely begun. I've only known I have the Force for two years."

"I know that," He tells her, stepping closer. "We can learn together. If we can both become powerful enough to defend our people--"

"I can't, Finn," Rey said again, more firmly. "I'm sorry."

He shook his head incredulously. "Rey, I don't have a single other person who could teach me about this. Only you. We're the only ones left, unless you count Kylo-- I mean, _Ben,_ whoever he is."

Rey began to pack her things, her shoulders tight. Finn sighed from behind her. 

"Rey, please," Finn said, trying a more gentle angle. "I'm afraid. I don't know what to do."

"Neither do I," Rey replied, slinging her staff over her shoulder. Before she could walk away, Finn grasped her wrist. 

"Why are you so afraid?" He asked, and before he could read more into her emotions, she twisted her arm away. "Rey, I trust you to teach me. I'd trust you with anything. At least train me in combat, please, I need to be able to use this. There's danger everywhere."

Rey paused, gritting her teeth and staring at her best friend. She knew he was right, that he would be safer if he was trained and he'd be able to protect the others. She supposed that she could do that, only the combat part and nothing too deep into the mind. She could teach him awareness techniques, maybe some breathing exercises... "Fine. Fine! I'll teach you some combat, but that's it. Don't start calling me 'master' or anything." 

He grinned. "Thank you. I'll be kicking your ass in no time."

She scoffed, a smile forming on her face. "We'll see about that."

-

Later that day, Rey entered the command room where the leadership council of the Resistance was meeting to discuss their victory. She took a seat to the left of Poe, who sat at the head of the table, and across from Finn. There were about ten people around the table, and Poe cleared his throat to catch the attention of everyone. Respectfully, they all silenced and looked his direction.

"Well everyone," Poe stated with a charming grin, laced with pride and smugness. "We did it. After all this time, after all of our sacrifice, we have finally done what we've been working toward for years."

The group collectively cheered and murmured words of satisfaction to one another.

"Now, we are free. We're no longer bound by the constraints of the Empire, the First Order, any of it. We can go wherever we want, do whatever we want. And that's all thanks to all of you, I just want to say thank you for standing by me and allowing me to lead you all in the absence of General Organa," Poe's voice tightened at the mention of her, but he continued. Finn set a tender hand on his arm. "General Organa, Leia, was... remarkable. She was smart, persistent, and a clever leader. She was respected and loved by everyone, and has touched each one of us in some way. She may be gone, but she will never be forgotten. This-- this victory that we have just achieved, it's for her. All of it. This mission was what she dedicated her entire life to, and without her, none of this would have been possible."

Rey smiled to herself, thinking of her beloved master. Leia was truly one of a kind, and Rey wished she was still there so that she could tell her everything and thank her for all that she'd done. And... so that maybe Ben could, too, someday.

She felt a pang of loneliness in her chest, although she was surrounded by friends. Luke, Leia, and Ben were the only ones who _truly_ understood her and who she was, and now, they were all gone. Rey swallowed thickly, and without thinking she reached for the bond, gently tugging at the strand between them. He was far away, that much she could tell, and he was... okay. The torment and turmoil that had once clouded his mind was gone, replaced by something more peaceful but also distinctly empty. She pulled once again, needing to feel him just for a moment so she didn't feel so alone. After a pause, he pulled back but only slightly, just enough to give her reassurance but not any ideas that he was coming back. Rey closed her eyes briefly. 

She couldn't believe she had been so naive as to think he would join her with the Resistance after defeating the emperor and the two of them would sail away into the sunset. And she couldn't believe he had thought that, after everything, she would just forget about him and go a completely separate direction. Rey wasn't quite sure what her feelings toward him were, or what his were toward her, but what she did know was that kissing him had felt like the most natural thing in the world. The Force had practically sang with content when their lips had collided, like that was what it had been trying to push them toward all along. That had been the first time she'd ever kissed anyone, and the first time for him too, she assumed, but there hadn't been a single bit of doubt or hesitation. It was just... right.

The raising of Finn's voice snapped her out of her thoughts, and she tuned in to what he was saying. "--and that is why we don't need anyone in charge of everything! There is leadership over small groups on planets, we don't need to have a dictator over everyone. Is that not the very thing we just defeated?"

The councilman two seats down from Rey shook his head. "If there is no leadership, chaos will ensue! There would be no order and no unity."

"But it would be tyranny! We would be no different from the First Order, from the Empire--" Finn began to argue, but Rey cut him off.

"Finn, there must be leadership," Rey stated, not understanding why he would ever think a free-range galaxy would be a good thing, and Finn looked at her as if she had struck him. "It would be disastrous without it. Yes, the First Order had to be eliminated because it was leading in a way that was too strict, too extreme, but not all leadership is bad, and if we step up and govern this galaxy we can bring order and do it the right way."

"So you're saying you want to rule the galaxy, is that it Rey?" Poe asked, his face skeptical and almost mocking, his eyes narrowed.

Rey scoffed, shaking her head, irritation rising within her. "Are you really going to make this about me, make it my fault like everything else?"

Before Poe could retort, Finn interrupted. "Rey, that kind of power, the power of ruling over _everyone_ is a dictatorship. That's exactly what we just freed ourselves from."

"Not if it's done the right way!" She replied sternly. "Finn, there is suffering all over the galaxy. Slaves are controlled by those small governments you were talking about. Children are taken from their homes, children are abandoned and alone. People struggle to feed their families, Finn, there are so many problems and good, strong leadership can help get rid of them. If we just... let everything go, everything we've just achieved will fall apart. There will be utter chaos--"

"There you go again," Poe replied snidely, his lip curling. "Saint Rey. Preaching and acting like she knows everything about everything--"

"Poe, stop, this isn't the time for this," Finn said calmly, and Poe let out a sharp breath through his nose. "Rey, we can't do that. We can't just become the new First Order, after everything."

Rey's face contorted with disbelief. "We wouldn't be _anything_ like the First Order!"

"The First Order controlled everything, and that's what you're saying you want to do," Poe responded, leaning forward and lacing his fingers, his dark eyes fixed on her. "We can never have anything like that again, not after all that has happened and all the people we've lost. This isn't up for discussion."

"Yes, the First Order was tyrannical, but it _did_ keep order through the galaxy for the most part. We can do better than they did, because we know what not to do now. We're capable of being good leaders, Leia taught us how to. If we just let the galaxy go without any order, we'd be dooming it," She argued, her voice rising with frustration. How could they actually be thinking of just letting everything go and leaving the galaxy they'd just fought with everything they had for to fall apart? 

Poe shook his head at her disapprovingly. "And now you're defending the First Order. Seriously, Rey?"

"That is _not_ what I am doing!" Rey nearly shouted, and Finn reached across the table to take her hand.

"Calm down," He said firmly. "Both of you."

"You're unreasonable," Rey said to Poe, venom in her words. She was vaguely aware of the rest of the table watching them with unease, but she didn't really care. "Never thinking ahead, always acting rashly and putting people in danger. If you were even acutely able to think about the future instead of just right now, you would see that leadership is necessary to maintain order. That has been proven over and over again."

Poe leaned closer to her, his eyes blazing. "You know who you sound like, Rey?"

She lifted a brow with challenge.

"Kylo Ren," He spat, and everyone in the room froze, including Rey. "You know, the evil guy you have a weird thing with that you refuse to talk about--"

"Poe, _enough!_ " Finn barked, enraged. Rey fumed silently, her face turning to a mask of stone. She and Poe regarded each other irately, and she watched as his face eventually twinged with regret. Her fists clenched and her teeth ground together as she watched his mind work. The rest of the room was deadly silent and staring at the table as the trio argued passionately.

Poe pursed his lips for a moment. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that, Rey."

She took a deep breath, a shaky one. She knew he was telling the truth. "I know," She replied simply, quietly, folding her arms.

"But nothing you say will convince me to agree with you," He told her resolutely, shaking his head slowly. "And Finn and I are the generals, we have the final word. I'm sorry."

Rey stared hardly at Poe first, her lips pressed tightly together, and then her eyes drifted to Finn, her best friend, who appeared defeated. And then she stood up and left the room without a word, her chair scraping against the floor, everyone's eyes trained on her retreating form. 

-

Later that evening, she sat down and ate dinner alone, staring dead ahead as she spooned her broth into her mouth. Oh, how she wished Leia was still there. She would know what to do, she always did.

Her thoughts drifted to another person who would have opinions and knowledge about the subject, and even though she knew he would probably shut her out, she closed her eyes and tried to reach him. She dug deep into the back of her mind, finding the strand of Force that bridged them. Mustering up focus and determination, Rey pushed hard, sending a single word through to him.

_Ben._

Radio silence. Her jaw tightened. 

_Ben, I need to ask you something._

Her words were going through, she knew he heard them, but he seemed to be ignoring her completely, totally blocking her out.

_Please. I just need your advice, that's all._

He still didn't reply. Rey sighed, taking another sip of her bland dinner. She looked around the room, seeing everyone immersed in conversation with their friends, their significant others. Another wave of loneliness hit her, a common theme she'd come to know very well. She had longed for so long to have family, to have people who would love her unconditionally, no matter what. Yes, she had Finn, but they weren't on great terms after the meeting. 

Later that evening, she took a hot bath and settled on her cot, staring up at the ceiling thoughtfully. It took hours for her to fall asleep.


End file.
